Sigh...

I guess, i'll have a short post for tmr. Or my readers will run away from me!!!

Woke up today and i immediately went to checkout renee's blog. Hahas... wad is wrong with me? Sigh... i'm happy but, i'm still sick. I'm glad that i can still stay cheerful. My brain is working too hard for me today. i suddenly think of my friends, i miss them so much, how've they been? I just miss my friends. i look at some of my friends, they've change. They've change into a super bad tempered volcano, super bad attitude lion and they bite. it saddens me a little. Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, the friendship which they've with me starts drifting away. They forgotten about me. When the saw me walking on the street, they ignore my smile. The've forgotten me. They don't remember me. Even though i'm not the girl whom i use to be, i believe that we still use to spent times together. How old am i already? i speak things out for whatever things i think of. Anyway, i'm happy that i'm being influence by a group of influential people. They are my motivation. They motivates me. They showed me how to be strong, and i've learnt to be strong.
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Who knows what i wanna become in life, whom did i shared with? What kind of visions do i have inside my brain? What kind of technique, skills and talents is needed for that? Will my looks and figures be affected? Is my charismatic important? And most importantly, am i going according to God's will? For every door that God opens, no man shall close, every door that God closes, no man shall open. So, i have to pray hard for it.... Just msn with Daimen. I guess he was bored. We chatted for awhile and then he said something like this, he was packing his room and then he found th LLs which i gave it to him and he start reading it and got reminded of me. Well, i thought he've thrown it away long time ago, i guess, i'm wrong. And he thought i've throw away the LLs he've given to me long time ago. Hahahas... Don't worry. I won't throw it away, it reminds me lots of good memories where we use to spend time together and with our fellow CG members. =D but still, i've to say. No matter how much my friends have/ use to disappoint me, i still love you guys. I've never really Hate nor dislike my friends before, even though i use to say this "....i don't like him/her....." but deep in my heart, my friends will never be my enemy.

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i remember that there was this once Tracy ask me why did i want to become a good girl when i was a bad tmeper, lousy attitude and a rude rude me. She ask me y did i want to change? She ask me numerous of question. I start to think hard and remember the changing process of me. I'f you want to change, Changing behavioural patters is never easy and is generally a painful, slow process thing. But changing is never easy, but still, you must be willing to change. There's no turning back, but there's a turning point, a second chance for a new fresh life. Friends, don't ever ask how did i do it, and y can't you do it. This is a stupid question. like i said, this is what i've learn:

We always move towards what we focus on.

Whatever gets your attention gets you.

Whatever you resist will persist.

Because You're focusing on the very thing which you don't want.

If you want to change, you MUST have the willingness to change. And changing does not just by changing your character. It applies to every part to you. Your attitude, your bad habits, how you look on things... and everything. You can NEVER change if you don't have the willingness.

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Willingness = Sacrifices

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And btw, i dont think todays' post is a good post. If you feel offended, i apologies first.