It's my dream and visions since young. I dream about it, i visualize about it and i confess to myself about it. Now, i'm lack of support for it. It's not that i really do mind for lack of support. But bec i'm being objected by dad for many times. I ask him every night when he come back home from work. He strongly disapprove it. And everytime i get a "NO!" in reply from dad, it just hurts me so much that i've been crying for a few nights(few days back). Right now, i'm just holding on to it. Bearing my emotions and the dissappointment. Seriously, i don't mind giving up my everything included my precious(but, not God. He will be with me where ever i go.), just to run after my dreams. Since young, i've been telling myself that if i give up my hopes and my dreams, i'm a FAILURE, a sore loser! As i always tell myself that i will die in regret if i'm unable to achieve what i want to achieve in life. Every night i tell myself, "Maybe Dad will allow me to take a step forward towards my dreams tomorrow" and "i'll not leave this world until i fully serve my Abba father and walk in his way and the footsteps which he've given me."
You may be laughing at me on how stupid i am or how naive for the way i talk, but, i don't mind how the world look at me. But i do mind if i'm unable to achieve what i want to do in life. Sigh...
i'll try again tomorrow.
Joel 2 verse 28
"Ang it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit
on all flesh; Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, Your
old men shall dream dreams, Your young men shall see visions.
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