Doubts.

"I, Lilya Lau Zi Ning, just wanna take a break.
Take a break from hating myself for Loving you.
In another words, i, Lilya Lau Zi Ning will accept the fact that, i am in love at the first sight."

I'm happy,
i saw him today.
i start asking questions
and blaming myself
for falling in love with you.
Because it's not a "flying up to sky" feeling
but
it's as if i've just dug a grave
for my Single happy life.
Nope, currently isn't in any realtionship.
But i am not happy with my life
myself
my days.

I would like to stop saying all those things over and over again.
things like:
i hate myself for loving him, why did he start all those glances.., i wish i've never look him into the eyes the 1st time we met..... and so on.
 

Yes, i'm madly in love with you, however i will definite not let it go beyond my limits. I thought i've actually forgotten how the feeling of "Love" is like until i fell in love with you. I suck in avoiding you cozz i realise i keep on finding chances to see you when i'm in church.
I'll accept the fact that i'm in love at the first sight and the rest of the things, God, i'll leave it all for you to decide. Okaye?

i saw him 2wice today.
1, in the service.
2, looking at the bus leaving as he was in there.
Seeing him, just makes me feel so happy.
I'm crazy...
I'm sick.
HeavenPAPA, CRAZYYYYYYYYY girl needs you!

Okaye, in love with you or not, i believe that my future will not just stuck here; falling in love with you, those glances...
Let me predict it myself okaye?

Prediction#1
We know each other then learn that we're interested with 1 another as a friend only.

Prediction#2
We know each other then we get together and have a happy life with God in between our relationship.

Prediction#3
Somehow, my feeling towards him will fade away like that natrally-which will never happen, i know maybe yes, but needs another few months.

Okaye, just a prediction alright?

I'm so gonna wake up at 6.30am to prepare for Cg then study before i leave my flat for Cg. i have 1 Question, will i be able to wake up on time? This is a challenge for me, myself.

SSSSSignnningg Offffffffffsssssxnzxszn

Lilya LZN

Picture in this post taken from http://c-hass.deviantart.com/art/First-Sight-93917903