i was talking to Zi on how much i wanna fall back to God again and yet i just can’t feel Him the way i use to experience with God. I told Zi that, i went down to Altar Call last Friday during service and i was really discourage as i look around me, the people who went down for the Altar Call were tearing and really experiencing with God but i didn’t feel the same way. I went down hoping and expecting that i would sense the presence of God so strongly like how i use to feel Him but i just didn’t.
When i was talking with Zi about how far i am away from God now and all my problems, Zi encouraged me and told me to seek Him once again and everything, in the middle of our conversation, i started tearing, more tears came flowing down my eyes; i was crying. i told Zi, “i am crying now. i’m crying for no reason. I can’t feel Him but i’m crying…” and she actually told me many thing about it, making me started crying but i was holding on to myself forcing myself not to make a sound or i would feel awkward.
2days ago, God challenged me to go for SOT after my O’levels.thoughts like,
“God, what about my O’levels?”
“God, my dad wants me to work after my O’level. Will i be able to find a part time Job which pays me $XXXX monthly for my Art’s School Fee?”
“God, cann… iii…” “God, can… you?”
WOrries just came attacking me.
Good thing or a Bad thing? God, God, Godddd………
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