Past Tense shall remain in the past.

i Hate the feeling when i totally lost Him. i Lost God. He didn’t abandon me and left me all alone but i did. I abandoned Him and left Him. It all became a duty for me to attend Church, Cell Groups and also serving in Ministry. I Hate to tell people to look up to Him when I'm not. It’s just so-oh wrong… It was a terrible period of time for me as negative thoughts starts filling up my mind. It was terrible, and i start becoming so stress that suicidal thoughts came attacking me. i was dying slowly, from inside out. i Felt something was locking me up when i was already given the freedom all i want, my parents don’t control me, mom and dad are only strict towards my attitude and manners. it’s a happy, sad, bitter feeling. I don’t think i myself can describe the feeling.

Anyway, i’m back with Abba Father again. *Smiles* i made a decision to return back to Him 2days ago as i went down during the altar call. Indeed, it takes great courage to raise up your hand agreeing to go back to Him again and going forward during the Altar Call… Jessie was being nice when i ask for her accompany. She really made me smile with some encouraging words.

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Today is 1st day of CNY and also valentine day. Well, i’ve visited my grandparents and my aunt today, the atmosphere wasn’t there. Perhaps, i’m not in the CNY mood where you’ll be excited for the red packets and everything. Well, i’m only excited in using the $$$ to invest in my sewing machine…  That’s all… Here’s some photos.

i would laugh when i see that particular picture(last one;right side).